Been 2 years huh....

Well so it looks like from the blog that I gave up.  Confession:  I did for a moment.  So what all has happened with in that time?   June 2013 after being at my job for nearly 9 years I started a new job.  July 2013 I did the "Electric Run" with my husband, of course I walked the whole thing.  Learned a ton from that, specifically the type of socks you should wear when walking distances.  I wore some neon "Dalek" socks (I love Doctor Who), and got the gift of blisters within a half mile.  I began having reoccurring knee problems.  In September not only did I have a knee giving out on me I developed massive pain in my shoulder.

What does this mean?  I quit.

It was meant to be temporary like maybe a couple of months well then I continued getting sick and was unable to shake it.  I developed walking Pneumonia and Bronchitis in March of 2014.  This effected my breathing for over a month.  I also gained a good 15-20 pounds from steroids which I needed for breathing.  By this time my stomach problems became worse (IBS) and developed stomach viruses nearly monthly.  All of this effected my emotions, my work, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with God....etc.  I went "PRN" (as needed) at work but was still working nearly full time hours.  For the past 3+ years I would work and be too exhausted for anything else; weekends were spent in recovery in bed.  I knew this was part of my hypothyroid but was in denial.  I also didn't realize that my levels were not in a mid-normal range, in other words the medication for my thyroid made me "just" in the normal range.  My doctor wanted me more in the mid normal range.  I was discouraged by my weight as I was pushing 300 pounds.  Omigoodness did I seriously just confess that?!? feels nauseating yet freeing, people can judge all they want, it is MY BATTLE not theirs.  My doctor explained to me that she still wanted me to adjust my diet and exercise but to know I will be spinning my wheels for a while as I have NO METABOLISM.  Don't know why it took me so long to truly understand but I complained to her that my mom in her 60s can lose weight easier than me.  She was not surprised just repeated that I have NO METABOLISM, not just a slow metabolism that I have always had.  None,  Zero, Zippo, Zilch.  So the question of bariatric surgery came up again.  Talked it over with my husband who does not want me to go through this and decided to try to do this Paleo/Primal thing (uh huh....yup I wrote about that earlier, and I was still not 100% committed,  I am not stubborn at all).  According to research I have done those with Thyroid problems can not tolerate gluten (I see your eyes rolling cause it is the new fad to  be "gluten-free" it is fine, I probably roll my eyes at something you do so it is okay).  What I understand is that gluten can cause "leaky gut" (remember those IBS problems I have that would keep me out of work monthly?)  Gliadin is the protein molecule in gluten, this closely resembles thyroid molecules.  When this breaches the intestinal wall the body goes into full on defensive mode and has the immune system attack these molecules but attacks the thyroid too as it cannot differentiate between the two.  Oh did I mention that 90% of those with Thyroid diseases have autoimmune disorders?  Sounds believable doesn't?  Not to me.  I thought "oh goodness here we go with pseudo-science, Yay!  So what did I do?  I went mostly gluten-free but had some things occasionally like beer.  So March of this year came and I decided since I am not working much (well....they got rid of my position) I was going to take advantage of the beautiful Spring weather and go for walks in the park.  I discovered my Samsung Pedometer app and became hooked.  One of those walks I walked with a friend who has an allergy to gluten and dairy (she gets massive hives when she eats them).  She is also a big fan of holistic medicine.  She asked me when the last time I had gluten adding the side note of, "I mean with no cheating, because you can't cheat with hypothyroidism."  I initially thought it was 4 days ago but then later remembered I cooked my Bratwursts the good German way: in beer.  Well that started the lecture of the importance of not cheating and really looking at this as being a poison to my body.  The words that really struck me were "Would you cheat on your husband? NO! Then why would you cheat on yourself."  So since that day I have been just about 100% gluten free (there is a learning curve, like onion dip....never knew some of them have soy sauce which has wheat).  I also started training again twice a week along with my walks.  It isn't as intense as last time as I lost a lot of stability in my knee and the shoulder (that has bursitis) can act up.  I did see someone about my knee and started doing dry needling, which has allowed me to be able to climb steps again (yes it got that bad).  Now it may still give out but the longer I walk on it typically the better it does, before therapy it would give out, hurt and would be very unstable to walk on.

So all seemed great and then on May 11th we lost our house to a house fire.  Unfortunately it was due to grill ash that reignited.  My husband felt them and poured water on them, then threw them out in our garbage can outside.  Well all it takes is one hot ember.  So if you are reading this and use a charcoal grill, dump ashes in a metal trash can, take a hose and hose them down, THEN stir them. This helps be sure water gets to all of the ash.  My husband and I were both home, we heard the noise of "Snap, Crackle, Pop" and  I saw smoke in our backyard.  I opened the attic and it was pure flames.  We went running outside (I left my door open for my cats to escape) and then the smoke detector was heard going off right before the fire fighters arrived.  Nala my oldest cat allowed the firefighters to carry her out.  Vinnie, my middle cat, hates being picked up so escaped in our woods.  The third cat, Beaker, was never found, but neither were her remains.  We are in an apartment until the house is rebuilt.  I try to leave food for the other cats as often as we can get back to our property.  I was told by firefighters and insurance adjusters that many pets come back after the house is rebuilt.  I tried trapping them but with no luck.  Just grateful they are fixed and have all of their claws for survival.  Also very grateful my husband and I made it out.  It was sad to lose the house and the majority of our stuff but we were so grateful God spared us.  So what did that have to do with my weight loss?  Well I was sad to find out I gained 3 pounds of my weight loss back 2 weeks ago.  We did have a lot of stress and dropped off of gluten-free one day (the day of the fire).  Despite all of this I lost 5 pounds this week so I am back to losing weight.  Oh I also lost my Fitbit in the fire that was all of 2 weeks old, sigh, it was really helping me to move more.  It will be replaced, and hey now I have stairs to climb daily to the apartment.  Sometimes you have to look at the little things in life to get your hope.  Heck those little things are spectacular, just don't take advantage of anything in life. Everyday is a new day filled with great and terrible things but let that not ruin any of your joy.

Reviewing Old Posts is Interesting

After reading my past posts my goodness I kept talking about Paleo but never jumped into it.  Woohoo!  Goal accomplished we are now jumping into it.  A little update of exercising abilities I had NO knee pain today.  None....Zero.....Zippo....Zilch.   I was able to do lunges because of this my goodness I hope this no knee pain continues.  I don't think I updated that I can now do jumping jacks again.  I could not do them until late January.  Honestly saddened me to know a basic PE exercise I could no longer do.  It is eye opening when you see how much you neglected yourself.  No longer neglecting myself.  I cannot, I need to get healthy I depend on it.  If I don't get healthy I will not have a job, nor a full life. 

I Refuse to be Addicted

I have talked about going Paleo for months now.  Hearing how great it would be to my health blah, blah, blah.  The more and more research I did the more I felt the need to go to a Paleo lifestyle.  What exactly is a Paleo lifestyle?

Read about it here: http://www.practicalpaleoliving.com/what-is-paleo/

I call it the "Caveman Diet"  but.....I hate that word "diet" at the end.  This is a lifestyle change NOT a fad diet.  It is NOT a glorified Atkins!  I eat meats, nuts, veggies and fruits.  It isn't a low carb diet it is about eating the healthier carbs with proteins.

I am now on Day 3 of complete Paleo.  When I say complete I mean: No Dairy, No Grain (corn and rice are grains), and No Sugar.  Let's just say along with hormones right now I am irritable, exhausted, restless (as in I just feel jittery).  Now I have done the South Beach Diet before (yes a fad diet) and went without the grains for 2+ weeks.  I thought that was bad but no cheese.  Now as much as I keep on looking at how awful and weird I am feeling I think of the activities I cannot do due to being sick all of the time:  many church activities, spending time with friends, singing, hiking....and I am sure the list can go on.  In about 14-21 days of strick Paleo I should be feeling energized and better.  Looking forward to less stomach problems.  Now the goal is to be 85% of the time.  This means I can have grains, dairy etc. occasionally.  I just don't want the "occasionally" to start until I am about 21 days done with strick Paleo. It is teaching my body not to crave these things so often.  Today was a little interesting as Pizza was provided for everyone today.  I ate my Chicken Egg Muffins and an apple but the smell and sight of pizza made me want some.  Tomorrow we are supposed to be having Olive Garden....ummm....yeah....I'll be eating at my desk as my will power for pasta is non-existent so out of sight out of mind.  Now the cool thing about the Paleo lifestyle is that there are substitute recipes for many grain recipes like pancakes....you would use Coconut Flour (made only of dried ground up coconut) and Almond Flour.  You can still eat dark chocolate.  Honey, Stevia and Maple Syrup (pure maple syrup) are used for sweetening.  No artificial sweeteners.  So far I have an amazing support system I think it is because all who know me know what I have been through with being sick the past couple of years and since testing has produced little results I am trying to see if it is a food intolerance.  When you are intolerant to a food you crave it.....I crave pasta and bread.  I can eat spaghetti everyday and have before.  I also have symptoms later that go alongside with the food intolerance: headaches, intestinal issues....

I have not given into the jitters.  Trying to prove to myself that food does not control me.  Seriously it really shouldn't if I have problems saying no to a food for an allotted time I am allowing food to control me.  No bueno.  I think of 1 Corinthians 9:27.  Need to beat my body into submission....be disciplined not be controlled by anything like an addict.

Paleo Begins

So we are hoping to truly be on this journey of eating like a "caveman" also known as eating Paleo.  Mainly this entails meat, vegetables, fruit and nuts.  Now there are special recipes like "Paleo Pancakes" using Coconut or Almond flour.  Tonight to prepare for the weeks breakfasts I made "Buffalo Chicken Egg Muffins"

Yes the muffin shape is odd....they are dinosaurs.  I do not own a "normal" muffin tin.  When Chris and I registered we wanted a dinosaur tin and a butterfly tin (okay fine he couldn't care less I wanted those tins).  I only received the dinosaur tin so....dinosaur muffins it is.  The recipe was simple and quite tasty. 


Here is the link: http://fastpaleo.com/buffalo-chicken-egg-muffins/#comment-97456


I'll be sharing more pics and such as time goes by....after all my blog is very boring as it seems to really only have words.

Oh....Blogging That's Right....I Forgot

So I really did not mean for so much time to pass between blogs my goal was to blog AT LEAST once a week.  So what has been going on....well lost a total of 15 pounds so far and several inches just knowing some of my old clothes are fitting is encouraging enough.  Our computer I thought was going to die but amazing what canned air can do to it.  Poor little Toshiba thanks for continuing to be a faithful computer.  I still haven't changed my eating habits completely.  Confession:  Eating 3 meals a day with snack in between....has not been happening.  We need to plan better and do more prepping for the week.  I HOPE to have some breakfasts and lunches made out for the week on Saturday (will freeze them of course).  I am going to have another trainer because my current one is mean ;-)  (nah not really just wanted to throw that in there to see if she is reading this).  She is going to still be in my life and heck she is a Facebook friend, I have her phone number and email so there is no escaping me muwahahahahaha.  Anyway my new trainer was telling me she had issues with IBS and she highly recommends a book called "Wheat Belly"  I have been interested in this book for quite some time and told her I really wanted to start Paleo....go figure that is what helped her problems with IBS.  Okay, Okay I get it.  I bought the book tonight and hope to truly study it out.  I thought about it today....I study subjects for school, and the Bible soooo.....why am I not studying out a healthy lifestyle?  Now I have watched some documentaries that have been great.  I highly recommend "Fresh" (it is a low quality film so bear with it) this one tackles why I really only want to eat organic and grass fed meat and/or free roaming as chickens don't really eat grass.  +Chris Esquilin  and I just watched "Hungry for Change" on Sunday; I will be watching this one again and taking notes as it is a plethora of information.  It explains that our bodies crave sugar and fat, the importance of positive mentality and much more.  As for working out it's been rough couple of months getting sick with bronchitis along with the "normal" health issues.  Here it goes changing my diet hoping my health is due to food intolerances.  One thing that I need mind change about going "Paleo" is that I cannot look at any food as being forbidden or I will lose all control.  I must learn that I "can" have anything but learn not to "want" that food item.  The next couple of weeks will be hard but it will all be worth it.

Frustrating Yet Satisfying Day

It was a frustrating day.  Let's just keep it at that to be safe never know who is reading and I do have this public.  Anyway...I had training again today and before I go into the I am feeling some muscles in my arms WOOHOO!  Okay....back to the training I got to use the punching bag for kicks today (to help me release some of that frustration) kicks are A LOT higher I am thinking about waist height now.  I have to do a semi side kick....kicking with my laces not my toes. They are also a lot more forceful of course that may be because of my day but I'll take it.  Also I am now able to do 15 pounds in curls.  I started at 5 pounds and am not up to 15...we did have to drop weight after 5 on one arm and go to 12 but it is so great.  I remember looking at the 5 pound dumbbells and then looking at the 15 pound dumbbells and looking forward to getting to that level.  I have come to the conclusion I am stronger than what I have EVER been.  I was more in shape in High School but weaker.  I think I could do 10 pounds in dumbbells.  My legs were strong in High School but my arms were weak.  Looking forward for the weight to come off to see some muscles in my arms as my arms have always been big....my guy friends thought it was muscle (it was discouraging cause no it wasn't).  Okay this was a short update but an update nevertheless. :-)

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays etc.

Well it has been almost 20 days since my last post (at least it wasn't months).  I go thru my times of feeling good about changes in lifestyle and then have my downfalls of wanting things to happen faster.  Well....yesterday being Christmas I was actually thoroughly encouraged about the changes happening.  My in-laws were making comments about the changes and to be honest anyone who gives me a compliment I don't totally believe I think it is just that they are being nice.  Chris is becoming more diesel.  Seriously his arms are getting pretty crazy.  He dead lifts over his weight now so of course the changes he is seeing are crazy!  His trainer has made comments that Chris will become stronger than him.  Chris built to be strong.  He is built like a football player (which I love it....had dreams of him playing Polamalu in a movie if that says anything).  I am not obsessed with the Steelers at all (cough, cough).  So I know I went on a tangent of my handsome beast of a husband.  So of course I notice changes in him. Myself eh not as much however like I shared before I can get up off the floor without using an item to help me up.  This is MASSIVE improvement.  I also can bend over and pick things off the ground now without a problem.  LOVING IT!  SO my trainer has asked me if any more of my clothes are fitting (in particular my dresses that I bought for pre-wedding festivities early last year.  I LOVE these dresses.  I bought them from the big girl store....Torrid.  I like these dresses enough to hope to tailor them smaller as I get smaller.  The Problem earlier this year:  They did not fit, I tried spanks I tried anything to try to get these things zipped up.  They zipped half way up my back and stopped.  I REFUSED to get rid of them well I am glad that they are sill around cause they zipped up with ease WITHOUT SPANKS.  I am officially the same size before and during my wedding.   Here's the kicker: I weigh more.  I did report months ago that when starting this new way of life I gained weight...nearly 6 pounds if not maybe even more.  I have now lost a total 13 pounds....3 of these pounds were just this month.  About that last statement my goal for the month was not to gain weight.  With the Holidays I thought I can't completely restrict myself that is why gluten free has not totally happened.  Limiting too much has caused me to fail so trying to learn the self control thing...you know like eat one cookie and savour a flavor instead of eating a whole dozen of cookies.   Also I was able to use the bike at the gym.  Not a big deal?  Actually back a few months ago my leg could not go high of enough to get on the thing.  Changes are happening.  They will happen faster as I have more consistency and can get over getting sick all the time....why I need to try gluten free lifestyle, specifically Paleo/Primal.  I am just excited that I already have a start to getting healthy and it isn't 01/01/2013.  No New Year Resolution for me cause it is happening.

It's Been A LONG Time!!!!

So I have not given up this journey to better health just seemed to give up blogging.  I should be updating it more with my thoughts- whether negative or positive.  So here is an update: Still haven't lost much weight but have to be losing inches as my scrubs are fitting looser.  My co-worker in our satellite office has seen my for the first time in a month and even commented that I am getting smaller.  That is great!  It is discouraging the numbers are not going down but I can't let it get me down.  One co-worker told me I am gaining muscle and I may not shred the weight off for another year.  You know I am actually okay with that.  I am starting to get more at peace with progress.  My husband of course is making a lot more progress he too is at a stand still at actually losing weight but is gaining much muscle he can dead lift more than his weight.  I don't do dead lifts currently but I know it wouldn't be much.  As negative as that sounds I am still making much progress.  Back when I started working out if exercises were done on the floor I had to use something to get back up on my feet I could not get up on my own.  Well I can get back up.  Also if I was laying on my back on a bench I couldn't lift my upper body up to stand back up.  Well I am proud to announce I am getting up off the floor on my own with my own two feet.  The bench is still hard but I can do it about 50% of the time that is better than 0% of the time.  My balance has also gotten incredibly better.  I can stand on one leg at a time and balance fairly well without holding on to anything.  Still need to improve but standing on one leg without holding anything a couple of months ago was impossible.  My kicks have gotten higher.  I could barely kick and now I am starting to be able to kick almost to the height of my waist.  I think I was way more out of shape than what I thought.  It is fairly crazy. 

Eating well still needs to be improved.  I am not a planner but need to be in this area or we have a tendency of eating out. 

My health may be on the mends of getting better still suffering a lot from IBS BUT I am having less pain as I believe I had kidney stones.  I am doing much better in that area.  A constant pain in my back and abdomen was quite annoying.  Actually the first day without pain was a little shocking.  We are going to try to do Paleo (of course we have tried to do Paleo for almost a year now) to help out my IBS of course with all cooked vegetables as I really cannot eat raw veggies. There are so many good recipes for Paleo food that why not try it?  It's basically all natural no gluten and very little if any dairy.  I have been hearing of people giving up gluten, even though they may not have had an intolerance, and it has made them have so much more energy. 

Hopefully I will be updating more sooner than later....In fact once Chris and I plan our meals I will update that with recipes (well after we try them at least).

Thought Lost in Last Post

SO I went on about different things I ate on the cruise yet I didn't gain weight.  Activity level was slightly more chill than normal....yet no weight gain and co-workers said I have lost.  I think this is because I ate more frequently throughout the week.  Definitely does the body good.  I get it I get it I need to eat and not skip meals.....geesh.  Hopefully will become a habit.  Tomorrows a new day.

I GIVE UP....at blogging (not really)

LOL so it is very easy to just give up on something.  Started getting bored with the blogging and as much as I said "I will repeat myself so it will help myself and others...."  Let's be honest I haven't been on here in a month, I think?   No matter now I am back on and hopefully will dedicate myself to blogging.  So we got back from the cruise to the Bahamas 1 and 4/7 of a week from now (to be exact).  I came back and my co-workers said I looked good and that they could tell I lost weight.  Well....poundage is the same but again I am not caring about this at this time as size wise I am getting smaller just not my weight so much (sure a couple of pounds are gone).  So the cruise has lots of yummy foods....we're talking you have an appetizer, main course, and dessert in the dining hall, buffet all day and pizza till 5am.   Now I did not deprive myself on this cruise by any stretch in fact, a couple of the days I couldn't decide between two appetizers so the server brought out both for me, telling me "it is included enjoy!"  Most of the time the appetizer was some sort of fruit soup and something else I would choose (most of the time seafood).  I NEVER opted for the "healthy" dessert as it had Splenda....and yes I am now anti-Splenda (maybe not totally but I am trying to stick to natural- stevia, is natural).  We would eat breakfast (had a small chocolate milkshake one day for breakfast as my drink), lunch, dinner and have a midnight meal of pizza and cookies.  Healthy eating sorta went away but not totally.  Basically ate till I was satisfied, if I disliked something I didn't finish it (who knows where I obtained this "clean your plate" rule this is not how I was raised I think it is from not wanting to waste).  I wasn't as active on the cruise as I wanted. We drove over 10 hours to Port Canaveral and my feet and ankles swelled terribly.  Due to the swelling I also had blisters on my feet as my shoes turned into being too small since my feet were enormous.  I did walk around CocoCay.  This was my favorite island as it is owned by Royal Caribbean and it was just beautiful beach, ocean and wild iguanas.  Saw so much wildlife while going in the ocean; a hermit crab in a full size conch shell so this thing could easily take a junk of your finger, and many different fish.  Nassau was not that great to me.  People are very pushing to buy what they have to offer I do not like being pushed into something so when we went back to the ship for lunch Chris and I stayed on board.  We took the stairs several times unless it was going from deck 2 to deck 11 and depending how my dumb "Fred Flintstone" feet felt.  So here I am back into the groove of things feet finally being normal and no longer have tree stumps for ankles.  We want to start eating more Paleo/Primal style meals as I want to see if gluten is causing health problems.  I have improved greatly in my time for a half mile; starting at 15 minutes a little over a month ago to 9 min 30 sec right before the cruise and now 9 min 24 sec as of today.  Whew improvement is great.  I know my improvement seems "slow" but I have more chance of continuing on the correct path and am completely okay with that.  Looking forward to shedding pounds but I am more excited about being able to do things I am physically incapable of doing because of my fitness level. 

Okay so this was the pic on formal night with our friend "Abu."  Believe it or not I can actually see progress as the "before" pic I posted was with spanx and so was this dress.  The "rolls" are getting smaller. Noticing most difference in the things I wear and things fitting loser or actually fitting.

Thanks to My Supporters

Oh this is a quick blog post just to say "Thanks" to all of those supporting me near and far.  My trainer was going on how great it was on Facebook that I have so many people "Liking" and giving words of encouragement to my battle for better health!

"Thank you exercise for being the only thing stopping me from getting in shape." Jimmy Fallon

I LOVE Jimmy Fallon and his "Thank You Notes" on August 24, 2012 he aired one of the ones that is in the title.  I of course find it hilarious because it seems to be very true in a lot of people's lives.  "I want to get healthier", "I want to lose weight", "I wish I can climb steps without stopping".  I have heard these things time and time again.  Then I hear "I don't have time to exercise", "I don't like exercising"....

This is what I think of.  When I first walked into "Studio 1-on-1 Fitness" this cartoon was outside the door talk about convicting.  I am not trying to say to exercise an hour a day.  Even a start of 15 minutes daily is better than nothing.  To get more time in do it through out the day.  10-15 increments is very easy to add in.  Now I am still not quite at this "daily" thing.  I definitely have my days of being exhausted.  I need this to stop and get something in.  If I have a desire to exercise though I try to do it ASAP before I lose that desire.  Today was a great example.  I had my training at 8:30am, came home took my meds that I have to eat an hour after.  Well I got bored and wanted to walk on the treadmill.  I can actually say I got an hour worth of exercise in today.  That is super exciting.  I got done and was worn out but I feel like it could be the most energy I have ever had.  I am hearing a lot of people that I am inspiring them which is good but I would love to see inspiration turn that into change.  My trainer inspires me, she is in great shape but what do I do with that?  I need get off my butt and exercise!  Now do I want to be my trainer....No.  I am built way differently and I believe when I am completely fit we will have different strong points.  You cannot compare yourself to others.  You are a unique individual.  I am probably going to be built bigger and you know for the first time in my 31 years of life, that is OK.  I do not have the bone structure of being thin.  I am built to be a full figured girl.  Now not what different people call full figured as having extra weight.  I am talking wider shoulders, wider hips.....and I won't go on.  I see some people with extra weight who are told by doctors that they need to lose weight and all I hear is excuses basically blaming the doctor for being called obese when in reality sorry to break it to you...you are.  I am morbidly obese this is a fact I can other mope about the physician world as labeling me as such or I can use this as a reason to get healthy.  I look in the mirror and am not happy with what I see.  I need to look in the mirror and be happy because I am making progress of changing what I see in the mirror.  I have gone through some things that have made me a big girl, a lot of health issues.  Okay so now it is time to fight these health issues and not allow them to control my life.  IBS made me stop exercising. Not anymore.  It is not going to control me.  I am not a slave to IBS, hypothyroidism, acid reflux and former injuries.  These things do not control me, it may mean frequent "breaks" and some exercises I may not be able to do but I will overcome these things.  I was allowing these things to control me and it was making me even more unhealthy with high blood pressure, increased glucose level, and increase in cholesterol.  I am not allowing one condition to spiral down into more expensive health problems.  I can't; for myself, for my husband and for the rest of my family.  Align has helped me out tremendously hoping that this is the answer to me starting to lose weight.  I know crazy thing.  My body has not been getting proper nourishment but just in the week and a half that I have been taking these things my energy level has gone up.  My trainer has told me that she notices my endurance is a lot better.  She has noticed improvement in the past but just this past week even more so....I mean I got on the treadmill at home after working out...that has to count for something.  Another problem I am coming across is I am very stressed.  Stress is an evil thing that can make it hard to lose weight.  I know that after the cruise in October (Omigoodness just a little over a month away) I will be a lot less up tight.  May need to make monthly get away trips or every other month on a weekend.  Hoping I can still drop some pounds before cruising to the Bahamas but you know I am not giving up what I am doing, eventually they will come off when my body decided to behave.  This is just a rant of the things going through my head things I have been battling.  I might blog more but as a warning I may be very repetitive.  Some things I am fighting come up time and time again and are very frustrating, it will be interesting to see how much I have grown from it all.
 

Time to Get Back to Routine

So I can't totally remember what I wrote in my last post.  I think it was about foods upsetting my stomach.  I suffer from have IBS and Acid Reflux.  These two things that I hope they improve as I get healthier.  I unfortunately seem to get Stomach viruses often and well this last one messed me up pretty good.  Basically it flared up my IBS to the point of not being able to keep anything in my system.  I became very weak and had excruciating pain on my left side abdominal side that radiated down my leg, had some back pain with it but do not believe I have a kidney stone.  Basically I was told by the doctor that I need to continue to take the probiotic, Align.  I usually get my probiotics through yogurt (specifically Greek) and Kefir. This helps stabilizes the good bacteria in your digestive track.  I also was told I need to limit my raw veggie intake.  Raw fruits I need to peel as fiber has a tendency to upset my stomach and not do good.  Well that is still good news.  I was going crazy because the foods I am supposed to eat to get healthy were making me sick but the doctor does not want to discourage me from eating well.  She admit it is harder in my condition but luckily by steaming veggies it breaks the fiber down some.  I am not trying to have this be a TMI post so actually going into very little details but I do know people suffer form these conditions who are trying to get healthy.  Believe me it has been VERY discouraging even with my amazing support system of friends, family and my trainer.  I lost a lot of energy these past couple of weeks and it got very bad Wednesday through Friday.  Even today I had a little setback in pain.  I am tired and want/need a lot of sleep at this point.  Of course tomorrow my body is in for a shock.  I have work and training tomorrow.  It's time that it gets back to my energy level.  I loved the energy I was starting to get from exercising.  I would come home from work exhausted and with the exercising it only happens on Mondays.  Let's just say Mondays at a doctor's office is crazy!  The new found energy has made me start to get things done around the house; hopefully the house will be organized someday!  The positive thing about getting sick I found out my blood pressure is actually good!  For the past year I have had slightly elevated blood pressure when it is usually the low normal range.  It had me concerned as I didn't want to go on medications in my 30s.  I have friends who suffer from hypertension who look very healthy; they exercise and eat well, but genetics got them at the early age of having hypertension in their teens.  I look at them and they have no control over their blood pressure, well at least far less control than I have.  I think it is the matter of looking at everything I do have control over.  Diabetes: runs in the family but I still have control at this time of when I will get it.  High Cholesterol: Again in my control.  I have genetics running in against me if I DON'T decide to get healthy.  So it is my decision to eat fairly well and exercise.  The thing that I need to get back into routine is eating throughout the day.  Being sick made me not eat for a while.  I drank water and Gatorade.  Did not eat because it would upset my stomach and not stay down.  Anytime I get sick like this it is hard to go back to eating 3 meals a day.  So tomorrow I have to start getting back into that routine.  It's all patience.  Maybe after all of this the weight will begin to fly off.  The health is definitely getting there, just would like the weight to be there too.

Trial and Error

SO I haven't blogged in a while.  I felt like I didn't have anything to say (I know it's hard to believe).  I have since come to the conclusion I don't care if I repeat myself it is part of this battle I am facing.  I today do have a "new" battle.  I wouldn't call it new as this has been a health problem since the beginning.  I don't want to go into too much detail but I suffer from what is believed to be IBS which causes many problems with trying to get healthy.  This week we went grocery shopping at Trader Joes while we were hungry.  Usually a big mistake but for us it was just kept throwing healthy items like fruits and veggies in the buggy.  I was so excited to be able to have some healthy snacks like carrots and hummus, dried fruits (no sugar added).  Well started eating the raw carrots with hummus and of course it was quite yummy.  My body on the other hand is not impressed.  In fact it got quite angry with me consuming them.  ****WARNING HERE'S WHERE I GO ON A TANGENT**** Oh and I know that carrots contain sugar...blah....blah...blah; they are also very nutritional and when I have dieted (currently I am not dieting I am eating healthy- there is a difference) in the past I ate carrots and lost weight.  I also know that they body burns sugars from fruits and vegetables differently than refined sugar. Anyways back on topic my body has punished me the past few days for eating these little orange things.  Let's just say with lots of abdominal pain and everything that goes with it.  Carrots are supposed to be a "safe" food for those with IBS, I would be the exception to this rule.  I do fine eating them steamed so I guess that means I have to eat them steamed.  It's just a shame because raw veggies are healthier than steamed and I LOVE raw veggies my body again not so much.  I know people who hate raw veggies (my husband included) but can eat them without a problem.  I am not finding that very fair.  Oh well....now to see if my body can handle raw cucumbers, zucchinis and squash.  Need to buy some of these things, squash I do have.  All I can do is try it and see how my body reacts.  I just know that I cannot give up.  I have done this before.  If my body react this way towards health foods then why bother, right?  WRONG there are so many options out there and there are no excuses it is very discouraging I'll give myself that.  I can't let this get me down.  This is a true battle for me but last week I did a 45 second plank, and can do high kicks two fitness improvements.  I am not going to back track I have worked too hard AND have shown much improvement that I cannot just give up on eating right.  My mom has referred to me as "The Food Nazi" I am wearing this title proudly because it means to me that I have gained self control that I thought I did not have.  We were given a treadmill so this will help us to get in cardio on our off days.  Of course I need to make room for which is what I was working on until I get on here :-)  (I need a break). We are going on a cruise in a couple of months which is exciting.  We plan on not letting go of what we have been working on.  They have a gym and this we will use daily.  We do not plan in overindulging in foods like I hear happens on a cruise. I do know that no matter what I am not giving up!

Without Support a Structure Will Collapse

One thing I am learning is that having support is one of the most important things to getting healthy.  I believe first you need your mindset in the correct place then you need people to help you.  Anything you do in life you need help whether it is correction, teach or just someone to encourage you.  I have to say I am so blessed to have the support of so many people: My husband, my family, my in-laws, my friends and my co-workers.  I recently heard stories of people wanting to achieve fitness goals and families/friends are less than supportive.  Whether it is saying that they'll be too skinny, too muscular, etc.  One story consisted of a pudgy guy who is now in shape having their wife say that she misses his pudginess.  Seriously?!? "Hey honey....I know you are healthier now but I liked you better when you were a walking heart attack." Yup....that is one way to say "I love you."  Chris and I are very blessed that we are battling it together.  We do not have expectations for each other.  We love each other with the extra pounds and will love each other without them.  Chris and I both may be fairly muscular when done.  We have an agreement for it to be healthy muscular and nothing like the extremes.  I want to look and feel fit.  I am getting so much support now and hope to continue to be getting it as I slim down.  My grandmother went through a situation that she lost weight due to diabetes and friends told her she was too skinny.  In reality she was healthy but all of the negativity built up and she gained the weight back.  I think people get used to seeing a person at a heavier weight and the loss is a visual shock.  I say if the person is losing weight naturally and the end result does not produce a Jack Skellington then good for them.  Ribs showing is not cool....neither is seeing all of the vertebrae in the back.  Now there is a specific look I am thinking of.  I saw a person in a grocery store one time that I could see all of her bones it was very sad.  I don't know if she was ill from an eating disorder or a disease but it saddened me just as much as seeing someone who is morbidly obese.  (Yes it saddens me to look in the mirror and know I did not care enough about myself to take care of myself- but I understand this now).  Thank you for all of the support and just continue to be positive to one another!

Loving Progress!

So here I am a little over 2 months into health living and instead of gaining weight I am now losing.  8 POUNDS OF FAT LOST!!!! WOOHOO!!!Have to say scale watching can be a little addictive.  I question if I truly have lost since I didn't in the beginning and then notice....oh it is even lower.  No more scale watching.  I will check it once maybe twice a week but over that is obsessive.  The most important thing is starting to being able to do this I haven't done in years.  Today...I ran.  That is right....modified suicides but instead of walking I ran them.  It was an option I was given....I didn't think I would run the whole thing and I did.  Impressive....well for me it was.  I do basically interval training and had to repeat the "suicides" and also ran them.  I am tired but am so excited to think I will probably be able to run my first race hopefully soon.  Probably next year but that is sooner than it was 2 months ago.  I think one thing that has helped me was the gift of new shoes.  Family bought Chris and I new shoes.  I found out I pronate when I walk, run, stand.  I have not been wearing shoes that have the stability needed for a person with this problem.  Basically I need something with more stability for the inside of the feet.  These made a huge difference.  Still having knee problem but I feel so much more stable.  Interesting enough there is a chance I pronate due to old ankle injury.  I could see because as soon as tried on the shoes my left ankle started hurting slightly.  This is the ankle I have been trying to get to heal for months now and the only answer is weight loss.  Now maybe my ankle will heal properly and I can get even a better workout.

I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh. -Jarod Kintz

I find the above quote to be hilarious; especially since I wonder what soda is doing to the body!  Such a great excuse not to drink water.  I knew someone who hated water so badly she made Kool Aid with double the sugar and with an extra flavor packet.  It was so sweet and gross I just cannot fathom how she could drink it.  I realized I haven't talked about water consumption and how important it really is.  The human body is approximately 60% water, the brain is nearly 70% water, the lungs are 90% water, blood is 83% of water....etc.  In other words the body needs water to survive.  I have been drinking a lot more than usual.  I think the key is to find a bottle or cup that you like to drink from.  I know it sounds weird.  My favorite bottle would be the "Bobble-Water Bottle" this handy little water bottle filters water as it is squeezed.  I can drink tap water with it tasting so much better than before.  I do not like buying the already water bottles in the store.  They are so wasteful.  So many plastic bottles used all for a better tasting water.  This allows me to be Eco-friendly and hydrated.  Water is such a big key to losing weight.  As we grow older we lose the ability to be able to tell the difference between a hunger pain and dehydrated pain.  The positive: at least food can also hydrate you some.  So many times I may have eaten thinking I was hungry when in fact all I wanted was some water.

Water can get a little boring but there are so many ways to flavor it.
Crystal Lite (artificial sweetener not so healthy)- I use these occasionally
Cucumber slices-the freshest tasting drink I have had
Lemon (pretty standard in restaurants)
Lime
Basil leaves (basil and mint are related)

Here's a website I found for more ideas....must try some:

http://smarterfitter.com/2008/06/09/32-natural-ways-to-flavor-water/


I am posting this because I am getting to better health.  This includes hydration!


On a side note I have lost 5 pounds thus far.  I can get a little discouraged that I am not in the double digits of weight loss like my husband  BUT I am not holding on to what I haven't accomplished.  I am holding on to what I HAVE accomplished.  Total mind change has occurred.  I do know what weight I want to be but I am not looking at that; it's in the back of my mind.  I do know I am healthier today than I was a couple of months ago.  I have slightly more energy and slightly more motivation.  Things are continuing to improve.

Finish the Race

So I have never actually participated in a race.  Never totally have had a desire to until seeing scriptures comparing our spiritual journey to a race.  Here are some examples:

Acts 20:24 (Paul is talking to the Ephesians) - However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me —the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 (titled "The Need for Self Discipline"- something I am trying to learn)-  Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Galatians 2:2 - I went in response to a revelation and, meeting privately with those esteemed as leaders, I presented to them the gospel that I preach among the Gentiles. I wanted to be sure I was not running and had not been running my race in vain.

Galatians 5:7 - You were running a good race. Who cut in on you to keep you from obeying the truth?

2 Timothy 4:7-8 - I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day —and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing

Hebrews 12:1-3 -  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.



I made a goal a few years ago to run in a race at some point in my life.  My goal was in a year and that sickness happened.  My stomach issues caused me to stop working out the ironic thing is that now that I have incorporated working out back into my life the stomach issues are getting better.  It may be because I am trying to eat natural foods.  After the reading the above scriptures several times later I still cannot relate to running a race.  Right now I am in the training phase.  Not that I am ready to run I am building myself up to this point.  I hope to walk a 3k in September to start getting me used to being in the atmosphere.  My knee isn't in any condition to start running.  I hope to change this but in the mean time I am excited about at least having the opportunity to sign up for the event.  It's a start and maybe it will become something I will enjoy.  I hope not to only physically train myself for this but to obtain some spiritual insight in the importance of persevering, self discipline, and training in my spiritual walk with God.  I am excited!

Lifetime of Changing Needed

So in the past 6 weeks I have been trying to unlearn habits that I have grown accustomed to.  Now my parents did try to instill some healthy habits in my life; eating only until satisfied, eating a full range of food and to be somewhat active.  Honestly these habits went down the tube when we became caregivers to my grandmother.  As we have not been caregivers for over 10 years we still have what is called "Caregiver Syndrome."  Basically it is when a person still does not care for him or herself because they are in a habit of caring for someone else.  I would not trade the opportunity for caring for my grandmother but I really don't know how to take care of myself, health-wise.   This is where meeting and marrying Chris has been so good foe me because he reminds me when I need to stop and take care of myself.  I somehow got in the habit of cleaning my plate; I think because I didn't want the food to go to waste.  Learning to eat until I am satisfied, drinking more water and making healthier decisions in what I put in my mouth are things we are trying to practice.  I know I am told not to deprive myself of any food but I have not yet learned self control.  You know only having a couple of potato chips and not hand fulls; 5 M&Ms and not the full bag (even the individual size is too much to eat).  We are trying to eat organic foods; hoping to incorporate organic meats into this too.  As I am doing research on healthy eating it really scares me with the things that are being added to meats, fruits and veggies.  These things cause a lot health problems and could be the cause of a lot of intestinal problems. Here are just a couple of articles I have read recently:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/05/29/genetically-modified-crops-insects-emerged.aspx 



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/12/chicken-bladder-infection-superbug-uti_n_1668255.html


Here is a company in Charlotte, NC that sells the organic meat; on their site they include the benefits:

http://www.salemhillsfarm.com/healthbenefits.html


So our family has extended our training sessions and we are going from 2 times a week to 3 times a week.  I have still not shown any progress according to the scale but am still noticing a difference.  I look forward to the scale showing a difference; mainly because I need weight off in order for my knee to heal.  I am told I still need to be patient and now that I am going to go 3 times a week and am figuring out things I can do at home; I should be making more progress.  I am hoping to buy a cork board sometime soon to post my goals and some pics of me in High School.  Of course my overall goal is to be healthier than I was in High School. 

I also plan to start writing letters to corporations voicing the need for Plus size workout gear in their stores.  I hope my one voice can change many corporations.  I wish I have a talent in fashion design then I can send some ideas.  I have to work with what I have and that is a passion to get healthier and help others get healthier.   Seeing those who are overweight and obese starting to make a step forward to getting healthy is such a great sight!

The Blah Phase

This past week I have been...well...blah towards everything.  Impartial towards getting healthy.  This doesn't mean I want to give up I just need to regain my drive.  I think it is with the added stress that occurred in our lives. Chris's car has already had some problems and it decided it no longer wanted to go into reverse.  We have a fairly steep driveway so the thought of it being stuck down there was not very calming.  I figured they could get it out but when I donated my Saturn to Habitat for Humanity after the stick shift died (it was stuck in 3rd gear) the tow truck driver said he was glad it wasn't parked down my driveway because he wouldn't be able to get it out (probably with the type of truck he had).  Luckily AAA was able to get it out of the driveway and they took it to a mechanic in Durham that we trust.  Well no surprises the car's transmission is dead.  Because I drive manual and my husband does not I have been the transportation for the both of us.  Let's just say...a tank of gas usually lasts me almost 2 weeks, and I used a half a tank in a days time.  Needless to say this has been an exhausting week since I am doing a lot more driving than I do.  We get the car back next week with the new transmission and I think soon my mind will be back on track.  I also found out my family members that are helping us with the trainers are willing for us to train 3 times a week instead of 2.  Honestly I am getting excited.  The only issue I am having is left knee pain.  I tried to buy a knee brace at Dick's Sporting Goods and lo and behold they do not carry them in my size.  I thought surely since it is unisex I could find one.  Let's just say I wish I can open my own shop for plus sized people, this would include for men, women, and children.  There are many overweight, obese people who want to get healthy and it would be nice to have the support of clothing and workout materials made for them.  I really wish I am business savvy and could just do this.  It hurts that it is this hard to find these things that can help me get healthy.  People make comments and scoff at those needing to lose weight but there is no support.  I know that it can be easy to give up just because of this reason.  When you need a knee brace, sports bra, workout underwear, etc. it needs to be easier to find than the internet.  When  you want to get healthy you want to start NOW not 5-10 business days for delivery.  If someone knows how I can start this business or wants to help, heck even if you do it without me, let me know.  It is needed.