Thought Lost in Last Post

SO I went on about different things I ate on the cruise yet I didn't gain weight.  Activity level was slightly more chill than normal....yet no weight gain and co-workers said I have lost.  I think this is because I ate more frequently throughout the week.  Definitely does the body good.  I get it I get it I need to eat and not skip meals.....geesh.  Hopefully will become a habit.  Tomorrows a new day.

I GIVE UP....at blogging (not really)

LOL so it is very easy to just give up on something.  Started getting bored with the blogging and as much as I said "I will repeat myself so it will help myself and others...."  Let's be honest I haven't been on here in a month, I think?   No matter now I am back on and hopefully will dedicate myself to blogging.  So we got back from the cruise to the Bahamas 1 and 4/7 of a week from now (to be exact).  I came back and my co-workers said I looked good and that they could tell I lost weight.  Well....poundage is the same but again I am not caring about this at this time as size wise I am getting smaller just not my weight so much (sure a couple of pounds are gone).  So the cruise has lots of yummy foods....we're talking you have an appetizer, main course, and dessert in the dining hall, buffet all day and pizza till 5am.   Now I did not deprive myself on this cruise by any stretch in fact, a couple of the days I couldn't decide between two appetizers so the server brought out both for me, telling me "it is included enjoy!"  Most of the time the appetizer was some sort of fruit soup and something else I would choose (most of the time seafood).  I NEVER opted for the "healthy" dessert as it had Splenda....and yes I am now anti-Splenda (maybe not totally but I am trying to stick to natural- stevia, is natural).  We would eat breakfast (had a small chocolate milkshake one day for breakfast as my drink), lunch, dinner and have a midnight meal of pizza and cookies.  Healthy eating sorta went away but not totally.  Basically ate till I was satisfied, if I disliked something I didn't finish it (who knows where I obtained this "clean your plate" rule this is not how I was raised I think it is from not wanting to waste).  I wasn't as active on the cruise as I wanted. We drove over 10 hours to Port Canaveral and my feet and ankles swelled terribly.  Due to the swelling I also had blisters on my feet as my shoes turned into being too small since my feet were enormous.  I did walk around CocoCay.  This was my favorite island as it is owned by Royal Caribbean and it was just beautiful beach, ocean and wild iguanas.  Saw so much wildlife while going in the ocean; a hermit crab in a full size conch shell so this thing could easily take a junk of your finger, and many different fish.  Nassau was not that great to me.  People are very pushing to buy what they have to offer I do not like being pushed into something so when we went back to the ship for lunch Chris and I stayed on board.  We took the stairs several times unless it was going from deck 2 to deck 11 and depending how my dumb "Fred Flintstone" feet felt.  So here I am back into the groove of things feet finally being normal and no longer have tree stumps for ankles.  We want to start eating more Paleo/Primal style meals as I want to see if gluten is causing health problems.  I have improved greatly in my time for a half mile; starting at 15 minutes a little over a month ago to 9 min 30 sec right before the cruise and now 9 min 24 sec as of today.  Whew improvement is great.  I know my improvement seems "slow" but I have more chance of continuing on the correct path and am completely okay with that.  Looking forward to shedding pounds but I am more excited about being able to do things I am physically incapable of doing because of my fitness level. 

Okay so this was the pic on formal night with our friend "Abu."  Believe it or not I can actually see progress as the "before" pic I posted was with spanx and so was this dress.  The "rolls" are getting smaller. Noticing most difference in the things I wear and things fitting loser or actually fitting.

Thanks to My Supporters

Oh this is a quick blog post just to say "Thanks" to all of those supporting me near and far.  My trainer was going on how great it was on Facebook that I have so many people "Liking" and giving words of encouragement to my battle for better health!

"Thank you exercise for being the only thing stopping me from getting in shape." Jimmy Fallon

I LOVE Jimmy Fallon and his "Thank You Notes" on August 24, 2012 he aired one of the ones that is in the title.  I of course find it hilarious because it seems to be very true in a lot of people's lives.  "I want to get healthier", "I want to lose weight", "I wish I can climb steps without stopping".  I have heard these things time and time again.  Then I hear "I don't have time to exercise", "I don't like exercising"....

This is what I think of.  When I first walked into "Studio 1-on-1 Fitness" this cartoon was outside the door talk about convicting.  I am not trying to say to exercise an hour a day.  Even a start of 15 minutes daily is better than nothing.  To get more time in do it through out the day.  10-15 increments is very easy to add in.  Now I am still not quite at this "daily" thing.  I definitely have my days of being exhausted.  I need this to stop and get something in.  If I have a desire to exercise though I try to do it ASAP before I lose that desire.  Today was a great example.  I had my training at 8:30am, came home took my meds that I have to eat an hour after.  Well I got bored and wanted to walk on the treadmill.  I can actually say I got an hour worth of exercise in today.  That is super exciting.  I got done and was worn out but I feel like it could be the most energy I have ever had.  I am hearing a lot of people that I am inspiring them which is good but I would love to see inspiration turn that into change.  My trainer inspires me, she is in great shape but what do I do with that?  I need get off my butt and exercise!  Now do I want to be my trainer....No.  I am built way differently and I believe when I am completely fit we will have different strong points.  You cannot compare yourself to others.  You are a unique individual.  I am probably going to be built bigger and you know for the first time in my 31 years of life, that is OK.  I do not have the bone structure of being thin.  I am built to be a full figured girl.  Now not what different people call full figured as having extra weight.  I am talking wider shoulders, wider hips.....and I won't go on.  I see some people with extra weight who are told by doctors that they need to lose weight and all I hear is excuses basically blaming the doctor for being called obese when in reality sorry to break it to you...you are.  I am morbidly obese this is a fact I can other mope about the physician world as labeling me as such or I can use this as a reason to get healthy.  I look in the mirror and am not happy with what I see.  I need to look in the mirror and be happy because I am making progress of changing what I see in the mirror.  I have gone through some things that have made me a big girl, a lot of health issues.  Okay so now it is time to fight these health issues and not allow them to control my life.  IBS made me stop exercising. Not anymore.  It is not going to control me.  I am not a slave to IBS, hypothyroidism, acid reflux and former injuries.  These things do not control me, it may mean frequent "breaks" and some exercises I may not be able to do but I will overcome these things.  I was allowing these things to control me and it was making me even more unhealthy with high blood pressure, increased glucose level, and increase in cholesterol.  I am not allowing one condition to spiral down into more expensive health problems.  I can't; for myself, for my husband and for the rest of my family.  Align has helped me out tremendously hoping that this is the answer to me starting to lose weight.  I know crazy thing.  My body has not been getting proper nourishment but just in the week and a half that I have been taking these things my energy level has gone up.  My trainer has told me that she notices my endurance is a lot better.  She has noticed improvement in the past but just this past week even more so....I mean I got on the treadmill at home after working out...that has to count for something.  Another problem I am coming across is I am very stressed.  Stress is an evil thing that can make it hard to lose weight.  I know that after the cruise in October (Omigoodness just a little over a month away) I will be a lot less up tight.  May need to make monthly get away trips or every other month on a weekend.  Hoping I can still drop some pounds before cruising to the Bahamas but you know I am not giving up what I am doing, eventually they will come off when my body decided to behave.  This is just a rant of the things going through my head things I have been battling.  I might blog more but as a warning I may be very repetitive.  Some things I am fighting come up time and time again and are very frustrating, it will be interesting to see how much I have grown from it all.
 

Time to Get Back to Routine

So I can't totally remember what I wrote in my last post.  I think it was about foods upsetting my stomach.  I suffer from have IBS and Acid Reflux.  These two things that I hope they improve as I get healthier.  I unfortunately seem to get Stomach viruses often and well this last one messed me up pretty good.  Basically it flared up my IBS to the point of not being able to keep anything in my system.  I became very weak and had excruciating pain on my left side abdominal side that radiated down my leg, had some back pain with it but do not believe I have a kidney stone.  Basically I was told by the doctor that I need to continue to take the probiotic, Align.  I usually get my probiotics through yogurt (specifically Greek) and Kefir. This helps stabilizes the good bacteria in your digestive track.  I also was told I need to limit my raw veggie intake.  Raw fruits I need to peel as fiber has a tendency to upset my stomach and not do good.  Well that is still good news.  I was going crazy because the foods I am supposed to eat to get healthy were making me sick but the doctor does not want to discourage me from eating well.  She admit it is harder in my condition but luckily by steaming veggies it breaks the fiber down some.  I am not trying to have this be a TMI post so actually going into very little details but I do know people suffer form these conditions who are trying to get healthy.  Believe me it has been VERY discouraging even with my amazing support system of friends, family and my trainer.  I lost a lot of energy these past couple of weeks and it got very bad Wednesday through Friday.  Even today I had a little setback in pain.  I am tired and want/need a lot of sleep at this point.  Of course tomorrow my body is in for a shock.  I have work and training tomorrow.  It's time that it gets back to my energy level.  I loved the energy I was starting to get from exercising.  I would come home from work exhausted and with the exercising it only happens on Mondays.  Let's just say Mondays at a doctor's office is crazy!  The new found energy has made me start to get things done around the house; hopefully the house will be organized someday!  The positive thing about getting sick I found out my blood pressure is actually good!  For the past year I have had slightly elevated blood pressure when it is usually the low normal range.  It had me concerned as I didn't want to go on medications in my 30s.  I have friends who suffer from hypertension who look very healthy; they exercise and eat well, but genetics got them at the early age of having hypertension in their teens.  I look at them and they have no control over their blood pressure, well at least far less control than I have.  I think it is the matter of looking at everything I do have control over.  Diabetes: runs in the family but I still have control at this time of when I will get it.  High Cholesterol: Again in my control.  I have genetics running in against me if I DON'T decide to get healthy.  So it is my decision to eat fairly well and exercise.  The thing that I need to get back into routine is eating throughout the day.  Being sick made me not eat for a while.  I drank water and Gatorade.  Did not eat because it would upset my stomach and not stay down.  Anytime I get sick like this it is hard to go back to eating 3 meals a day.  So tomorrow I have to start getting back into that routine.  It's all patience.  Maybe after all of this the weight will begin to fly off.  The health is definitely getting there, just would like the weight to be there too.

Trial and Error

SO I haven't blogged in a while.  I felt like I didn't have anything to say (I know it's hard to believe).  I have since come to the conclusion I don't care if I repeat myself it is part of this battle I am facing.  I today do have a "new" battle.  I wouldn't call it new as this has been a health problem since the beginning.  I don't want to go into too much detail but I suffer from what is believed to be IBS which causes many problems with trying to get healthy.  This week we went grocery shopping at Trader Joes while we were hungry.  Usually a big mistake but for us it was just kept throwing healthy items like fruits and veggies in the buggy.  I was so excited to be able to have some healthy snacks like carrots and hummus, dried fruits (no sugar added).  Well started eating the raw carrots with hummus and of course it was quite yummy.  My body on the other hand is not impressed.  In fact it got quite angry with me consuming them.  ****WARNING HERE'S WHERE I GO ON A TANGENT**** Oh and I know that carrots contain sugar...blah....blah...blah; they are also very nutritional and when I have dieted (currently I am not dieting I am eating healthy- there is a difference) in the past I ate carrots and lost weight.  I also know that they body burns sugars from fruits and vegetables differently than refined sugar. Anyways back on topic my body has punished me the past few days for eating these little orange things.  Let's just say with lots of abdominal pain and everything that goes with it.  Carrots are supposed to be a "safe" food for those with IBS, I would be the exception to this rule.  I do fine eating them steamed so I guess that means I have to eat them steamed.  It's just a shame because raw veggies are healthier than steamed and I LOVE raw veggies my body again not so much.  I know people who hate raw veggies (my husband included) but can eat them without a problem.  I am not finding that very fair.  Oh well....now to see if my body can handle raw cucumbers, zucchinis and squash.  Need to buy some of these things, squash I do have.  All I can do is try it and see how my body reacts.  I just know that I cannot give up.  I have done this before.  If my body react this way towards health foods then why bother, right?  WRONG there are so many options out there and there are no excuses it is very discouraging I'll give myself that.  I can't let this get me down.  This is a true battle for me but last week I did a 45 second plank, and can do high kicks two fitness improvements.  I am not going to back track I have worked too hard AND have shown much improvement that I cannot just give up on eating right.  My mom has referred to me as "The Food Nazi" I am wearing this title proudly because it means to me that I have gained self control that I thought I did not have.  We were given a treadmill so this will help us to get in cardio on our off days.  Of course I need to make room for which is what I was working on until I get on here :-)  (I need a break). We are going on a cruise in a couple of months which is exciting.  We plan on not letting go of what we have been working on.  They have a gym and this we will use daily.  We do not plan in overindulging in foods like I hear happens on a cruise. I do know that no matter what I am not giving up!

Without Support a Structure Will Collapse

One thing I am learning is that having support is one of the most important things to getting healthy.  I believe first you need your mindset in the correct place then you need people to help you.  Anything you do in life you need help whether it is correction, teach or just someone to encourage you.  I have to say I am so blessed to have the support of so many people: My husband, my family, my in-laws, my friends and my co-workers.  I recently heard stories of people wanting to achieve fitness goals and families/friends are less than supportive.  Whether it is saying that they'll be too skinny, too muscular, etc.  One story consisted of a pudgy guy who is now in shape having their wife say that she misses his pudginess.  Seriously?!? "Hey honey....I know you are healthier now but I liked you better when you were a walking heart attack." Yup....that is one way to say "I love you."  Chris and I are very blessed that we are battling it together.  We do not have expectations for each other.  We love each other with the extra pounds and will love each other without them.  Chris and I both may be fairly muscular when done.  We have an agreement for it to be healthy muscular and nothing like the extremes.  I want to look and feel fit.  I am getting so much support now and hope to continue to be getting it as I slim down.  My grandmother went through a situation that she lost weight due to diabetes and friends told her she was too skinny.  In reality she was healthy but all of the negativity built up and she gained the weight back.  I think people get used to seeing a person at a heavier weight and the loss is a visual shock.  I say if the person is losing weight naturally and the end result does not produce a Jack Skellington then good for them.  Ribs showing is not cool....neither is seeing all of the vertebrae in the back.  Now there is a specific look I am thinking of.  I saw a person in a grocery store one time that I could see all of her bones it was very sad.  I don't know if she was ill from an eating disorder or a disease but it saddened me just as much as seeing someone who is morbidly obese.  (Yes it saddens me to look in the mirror and know I did not care enough about myself to take care of myself- but I understand this now).  Thank you for all of the support and just continue to be positive to one another!