Oh Yeah! (In Peggy Hill's voice)

Due to not having cable but having Netflix and my love for cartoons I have been watching a lot of "King of the Hill" for whatever reason I am hooked.  All of the characters get on my nerves but I can't stop watching. Some of the episodes have great messages and that what may be what has made me hooked.  Peggy is my least favorite character but watching an episode where she had to fight through recovering a sky diving accident; learn to walk and other daily activities made me like her a lot more.  Anything that has someone fighting to get healthy or in shape whether fictional or not is encouraging to me.  Now that I am done with my tangent of a lame cartoon I will share with everyone what has been going on.

Chris and I went to Planet Fitness on Monday night and I did at least 10 minutes elliptical and 10 minutes on the bike.  Tuesday I went walking with a friend for 45 minutes around her apartment complex.  Yesterday was a big day for me it was exactly 4 weeks from starting my training (I believe my 7th session) and thus got remeasured.  Well I weighed myself earlier in the day; scale states I am 1.8 pounds heavier than when I began.  As discouraging as that may seem; my measurements showed loss of 2 inches from the chest, 3 inches from the waist, 1 inch from my thigh and 1/4 inch from my arm.  Scale can say whatever it wants I am making a lot of progress.  I have gained muscle and lost fat this is the true goal.  Some people say I should completely ignore that I gained almost 2 pounds.  I share this not to discourage me or belittle my progress.  I share this because shows like "Biggest Loser" and some other weight loss shows do not show that this can happen.  In fact if it does it usually results with the trainers yelling at the person.  Here's the thing: those on "Biggest Loser" are not average people.  They are on a show where it is extremely competitive, low caloric intake and they work out 6 hours a day.  It is neither realistic nor healthy.  I want people to know gaining may not be a bad thing.  I do know eventually I will lose the pounds but until then I take pride in knowing that I am getting healthier.  I also walked again today with my friend....so this means so far I have exercised 4 days this week and tomorrow I have a training session; looking forward to exercising becoming part of a routine.

I am so grateful for all of you who are supporting me through this change in life that I am making.  I feel like Moses in Exodus 17:12.  Of course it is metaphorically speaking.  I am battling being unhealthy and when I get discouraged and start letting go all of you have been there to help lift my spirits and encourage me. 

I Will Not Give Up!

So I know that I have been on here in over a week and a half.  This was because I had a small setback in my progress.  Last Tuesday afternoon I got nauseated and sick.  It was believed to be hormonal and a virus; I didn't start feeling somewhat human until yesterday afternoon.  Here again is an example of something that will improve as I continue to grow in health.  I went to a training session on Friday and almost got sick a couple of times but pushed through because I was there and wanted some sort of workout for the week.  I was supposed to go to one Saturday morning and being up sick did not allow that to happen.  The positive thing is that our friends want to start walking with us.  I am having fun making healthier decisions when it comes to food.  I still haven't deprived myself from any particular food unless I just really don't want it.  For example there were danishes, bagels, cream cheese and fruit at work today.  I opted only for the fruit.  Today at lunch there was pizza....I ate 2 small slices and fruit. 

I heard a story today of a young woman, 29 years-old, who had to have her baby early due to preeclampsia she ended up having a stroke and dying a couple of weeks later.  This is a woman who seemed to not have any weight problems (not sure about health) that developed preeclampsia.  This is all the more reason I need to get healthy, my heart breaks for this family and I need to do everything in my power to not have this happen.  If I were to get pregnant I can still develop preeclampsia when I am healthy (anyone has this chance) but the risk is higher with where my health is currently at (of course it is better than a couple of months ago). 

A scripture that is stuck in my head is: James  4:17: "If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them."  I know that getting healthy is the good I need to do; this will help me be able to look out for others and serve as I am intended as a Christian; being able to live out Phil 2:3-5.  If I don't get healthy I am in sin.  God created me and cares for me thus I need to care for myself.  I am also called to "Love my neighbor as myself."  I must care and love myself in order to understand truly what it means to love my neighbor.  If I am lazy in caring for myself I'll be lazy in caring for others.

Not meaning to get preachy but my beliefs are a big part of who I am.  Without using scriptures and God I will not be able to achieve my goals. Without support from all of you I cannot achieve my goals.  We are supposed to be there for each other and I appreciate all of you who are there for me.  Those I have known from Middle School, High School and now.  It is so great to be getting healthy with social media.  Makes your support team so much larger.

Now I need to get ready to go to the gym. :-)

This Just In....

Curiosity got the best of me....I tried on a dress that I could only zip up half way last month and it zips up all the with ease and without spanks!  Oh Yeah! 

Feeling Grrrrreat!

So I had another training session today and I am so much more positive than I was yesterday.  Who needs a stupid scale to tell you that you are making progress.  I was able to do a few knee push-ups; I tried doing these months ago without any luck.  Went from 5 lbs to 12 lbs in hammer curls.  So the scale may not be saying I am making progress but my body is saying otherwise.  Honestly I am feeling great and I am holding on to that more than anything.  I bought a 12 in. sub from Harris Teeter (Fridays they are $4.99 and are waaaaay tastier than Subway) and only ate 6 inches.  Ate at 2:00 and was still full at 4:30.  I say this is progress too.  Stomach is shrinking and my muscles are growing.  Scale is being evil and saying I gained but that's right I did gain....strength, energy and muscle.  I will eventually lose the fat but right now I am proud of my accomplishments.  I am fighting to stay positive and push through the negativity.  It is a great battle so far and I have been told that I am inspiring others to get their lives together.  I also have been eating throughout the day including breakfast; in fact I was hungry for breakfast when I woke up this morning.  Body is starting to take in my new eating habits.  Let's bring this getting healthier; it may take me a while to obtain my goal but I am mainly looking at my other goals for now.  Having more energy, being able to climb steps without losing my breath; these are the goals I am looking at not the number goal.  Thanks to my trainer, my family, my husband (I know he is family but he needs separate recognition), and friends for all of your positivity.  Keep the positivity coming.  I look forward to the day I am at my goal and just maintaining; and being able to say you all helped me get there.  I feel like I am on team which is great.  Team Allison; Team Alli-Cat....whatever you call me.  Woohoo!  Thanks again!  Looking forward to more positive blogs like this one!

Learning to Get Rid of Discouragement

I think the biggest obstacle of getting healthy is discouragement.  Today was a rough day.  I was very emotional.  Nala (my oldest cat) was very demanding for attention and wouldn't let us sleep last night.  Usually she does fairly well but she has her extreme bratty days. I also hurt my right ankle somehow.  I didn't realize it was stiff and stepped on it; I heard a loud popping noise and it has hurt every since.  This is my good ankle, the one that has NEVER been injured whereas my left ankle I sprained numerous times over and over again last year.  My husband informed me today that he lost 9 pounds and this just made even more emotional.  I am VERY proud and happy for him but was discouraged he has lost so much and I have lost nothing.  Chris reminded me of Isaiah 40:31; it helped but I did end up crying (felt better once it was out).  Luckily I work in a Physicians' office so was reminded by my co-workers men and women lose weight differently and women take more time.  I was told that stress also doesn't allow for weight loss.  I must learn to deal with stress better.  My goodness; I feel like I do not know how to take care of myself.  I am changing all of these things and must hold on to it.  I am still quite discouraged I couldn't do cardio due to whatever I did to my ankle.  Chris bought me an ankle brace so I can try to do my work out tomorrow.  I really am looking forward to get measured next week to see if I have lost inches.  I really actually need to stop worrying about it and continue to do what I have been doing.  I am on track.  The weight will eventual come off I am gaining muscle definitely feeling it in my arms, abs and legs.  I believe discouragement and the negative thoughts are why so many people give up on weight loss.  I need to trim the fat from my brain; it's nonsense and it is hurting me.  I hope for a good nights sleep tonight and looking forward to the new day tomorrow.

Some Before Pics.

Thought I should probably put up some before pics since I did gain some weight since my wedding pic.

 I took out my in-laws out of this pic....not to be mean....just don't have their permission to publicly display them on the blog.

Will add some more pics as time goes by....maybe right before the cruise.

Take the Compliment, Crazy!

I haven't written in the past couple of days but I have to admit it has been in part due to my disappointment of the scale.  I hate the scale it is not showing much change (maybe a pound).  Technically even for those my size it is healthy to lose 1-2 pounds a week anything over that is not necessarily health and has a good chance of being only temporary weight loss.  I am a scale watcher.  This is actually very dangerous for those trying to get healthy and lose weight.  I weigh myself almost daily.  I have been told that I am looking like I am losing but I ignore what people say due to the scale saying otherwise.  Muscle is denser so 1 pound of muscle looks like less than 1 pound of fat....so technically I could be replacing fat with muscle right now.  If anyone ever compliments you, don't be crazy and ignore it or brush it aside!  I remember a brother in my church complimented me on a dress I wore one time saying I looked pretty;I brushed it off and said something like "Eh...only cost me $8 and I haven't worn it before."  He then proceeded to point out that I do not take compliments and if I continue to not take them none will be given out (now EVERYBODY likes compliments).  These are the friends you need in your life!  My trainer today reminded me yet again to accept what people are saying.  She notices a difference and that it is too early to see significant changes in the scale.  I do not notice much difference except for: increased energy level and I am slightly stronger.  Other changes such as inches will take me a little longer to see because I live with my self 24 hours a day 7 days a week, all 60 minutes of that hour and all 60 seconds of that minute.  The only One (capitalization on purpose) that can see you that often and still notice a change is G-O-D. 

Workout today was pretty intense.  I did 15 minutes on the elliptical on a level 8 resistance and 15 minutes on a stationary bike on Level 5.  My trainer then proceeded to do strength training; having to climb steps weights, resistance bands.  I was breathless by the time I left there; but I am looking forward to climbing those steps and not being so breathless until they make me do it with a weighted vest. 

I have learned today that consistency in sleep and eating is VERY important.  Here's a "secret" of how I have been living:  Eat lunch at noonish and dinner when I get home; weekends eat dinner only (because I am too exhausted to eat sooner).  Not only am I not eating breakfast (which it really is helpful to eat 3 meals a day with snacks in between -lost weight this way before) BUT I am also messing up my metabolism and slowing it down. I am making my body go into starvation mode so when I do eat it stores up what I just ate as fat; now I already have a medical problem with a slow metabolism but I guess I don't think it is slow enough so I am slowing it down more.  Chris was very frustrated with me on Sunday when I ate for the first time at 3:00pm.  I need to adjust my sleeping and try to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep a day and try to stop sleeping in if I am not working.  The only thing to figure out is how can I get that much if I am the type of person to get up every hour?  Guess it will change at some point.  All of these habits are "normal" for me.  Time to rewrite Allison's normal and help my body. 

I think this journey thus far has been eye opening.  I am having to change so much about my lifestyle.  We have been doing fairly well with eating "clean" foods.  I did eat a cupcake today but said "No" to Doritos and chips on Monday.  Weak willed moment and honestly I used the cupcake to reward myself.  This too is a big no, no. If a person who is trying to quit smoking rewards themselves with a cigarette what would that do?  Cause them to stumble and go back to smoking.  Same thing for food.  Does this mean I deny myself completely of these things? Not all of the time but NEVER excuse eating something "unhealthy" because you "deserve it" for exercising so much....etc.....

I Love Inspiring TRUE Stories

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448&feature=share

I hope this link works.  I love finding inspiring stories of people getting their lives back on track.

Snap, Crackle, Pop

Today I am in all sorts of pain; it is getting better as the day is going on but my goodness I could not move initially from being so stiff.  My joints are popping, making me want some Rice Krispies.  I understand why I have quit getting healthy before and why others quit but the pain I am taking in now will be nothing compared to a heart attack, troubles with diabetes, etc.

We just put a down deposit for a cruise this coming fall with our family which is more incentive to get healthier.  Oh and here is a gripe....why is plus size women workout clothes VERY hard to come by.  You go to Dicks Sporting Goods where men sizes can go up to a XXXL whereas the women's section goes up to a small XL.  So let's encourage men to get active but not encourage women to get active.  I guess women are supposed to be naturally thin; interesting since women are supposed to have more body fat than men.  Luckily Target has some plus size workout clothes.

I started using the app "My Fitness Pal."  It's great to keep track of a food and exercise journal.  Yesterday I ate too little calories and the result said I can slow down my metabolism (I already have hypothyroidism; I don't need to slow it down anymore).  The only complaint is that some people who are on MFP have no business being on MFP.  There are people who are 5'2" complaining about being 114 or under....going on how "fat" they are.  The minimum for that height is supposed to be 109.  One woman said she was skinny/fat at 105.  Seriously?  I can see if you need to gain muscles to tone up but at that point it shouldn't be about losing weight.  Thanks Hollywood, Fashion Industry and the Advertisement industry for making normal weight look obese and slightly below normal weight fat.  I do seriously hope this can change someday.

Perseverance and Patience

Today is Saturday and I did sleep in but not as badly as last week.  I worked out with my trainer the last two days and yesterday I did more reps than she was going to have me do in some of the exercises.  I am quite sore but I need to get some things done today.  I plan to get some gardening done and some housework.  I think this is the biggest improvement that has come in the past week is that I have increased energy and motivation to get things done.  This has not happened when I would try to do workouts on my own.  I honestly think it is because I am doing full body workouts AND I have someone there to correct me if I am not properly doing the exercise.  Basically I highly recommend some sort of a trainer, whether it's at the gym, or a friend who has been trained in properly doing exercises; it does cost money but then you won't injure yourself which could cost you even more money. 

Yesterday I read at work that only 10-15% of people can lose weight without the help of bariatric surgery (people around my weight and heavier).  I just chuckled at the article and said "I plan to be that 10-15%!"  Through Facebook I already have a lot of support and I appreciate all of it!  I have gotten serious about my weight before and gained it back...well...I want this to be different this time.  This is not only a physical journey but a mental and spiritual journey as well.  In all journeys you need help and that is the reason for starting this blog.  I am trying to keep my thoughts in the open with as many people as possible.  Pride is being put aside.  I need positive criticism that is why I enjoy having a trainer.  My trainer is very positive...does not call me names...gets excited that I am making progress.  I hope to later on post scriptures that have helped me through this....but for right now I am calling the internet and sitting on my booty quits and getting some work done.  Maybe even go to the gym to do the elliptical.

Obviously I am going to be great at this blogging thing (sarcasm).  Eventually I'll post daily including what I ate but one step at a time.  I am down about 2-3 pounds from the start of personal training.  I have gone walking a couple of times with my husband in the past week.  Basically I have been physically active 4 days in a 7 day period.  This is a lot compared to none.  I had to cancel my training session yesterday to not feeling the best but rescheduled to today.  I did more reps and I am at 8 lb dumbbells (I only used 5 lbs last week).  I am feeling more muscle which is a great thing.  The hardest thing is fighting not giving up and being patient with myself.  I am very clumsy and shake a lot while exercising because my body is in shock.  I did notice my body did not shake after getting off the elliptical and I am moving faster on it.  I think the key is to hold on to these little improvements like they are one of the most precious memories.  My trainer says I am doing great (I really like the positive reinforcement).  I become discouraged very easily and want to see the weight melt off....that isn't happening.  I also need to be realistic.  I out of all honesty want to lose 50 pounds in a week (seriously I really do).  In my fantasy world I will be down by 120 pounds by the end of summer....in time to by some clearance 2 piece bathing suit and be able to use it until Fall.  As I come back from my fantasy world I am reminded that losing weight takes time!  The slower you lose it the longer you keep it off.  I think this beginning part is just developing healthy habits.  Eating more natural foods, getting in the routine of exercising, getting quality sleep and developing a more positive mindset.  I am being refined right now.  This journey is not only refining me outwardly but I will have better character after this battle become more like second nature.

WARNING I AM NOT AN ENGLISH MAJOR AND NEVER WILL BE!!! ENGLISH JUNKIES READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!

So I am completely new at blogging.  I most definitely will not be best and that is not my goal.  My goal for this blog is to document my journey to becoming healthy.  I have gained almost 80 pounds in the past 3 years and let's not even bring up since High School.  I am trying to use this blog as an accountability post.  The things here I am making public.  The question is: Should this be public or should it be private?  I thought every gritty detail should be public to help others or to be helped by others.  There is some information I may leave out since as of right now I am uncomfortable with sharing my weight and measurements.  It will be obvious with pictures that I am what health professionals call "morbidly obese."  My doctor gave me some wake up calls a couple of months ago these things include:

1. She mentioned that I am a candidate for bariatric surgery.
2. If I were to get pregnant I would be "High Risk" as there is no question I WILL get gestational diabetes, and hypertension (as both of these conditions run in my family).  I will also have a higher chance of miscarriage.
3. It will take 2 years to "heal" my body and get on track and get healthy.

Test results came back and my diabetes test was slightly elevated (not enough to be considered diabetic but enough to say...."Hello?  You are killing yourself!"); my cholesterol is elevated (not enough to be on medications but again see diabetes test); TSH was elevated, thus I have hypothyroidism and need medication (this condition slows down my metabolism); and Vitamin D levels are severely low (especially for someone my age).  It was eye opening that I need to start improving myself.  Since starting on meds for hypothyroidism I have lost 5 pounds which is a start.

I am very blessed to have great family.  They decided to help my husband and I obtain our Health Goals by paying for personal trainers.  I go to Studio 1 on 1 in Charlotte.  I started Wednesday; go twice a week for 30 minutes (this does not include the time I show up beforehand to start some Cardio).  (Is it weird that since someone is paying for this I want to do my best whereas if I was paying for it I would probably not try as hard?)

Today was my second day and I am battling negativity.  I see myself working out in the mirror and am completely disgusted.  Seriously, I do not look in the mirror that often (especially a full body mirror) because I sometimes get nauseated with how I look.  This will be my biggest battle in getting healthy is having a healthy mind.  The negativity HAS to stop.  I need to see my self as being beautiful regardless of the weight PLUS I am making changes to improve myself.  Low self-esteem has always been a battle for me.  I remember my mindset when I first started dating my husband was pretty amazing.  I at that time I relied on God for my security not myself....of course that was with the help of my husband who was just a friend before the mindset came to be.  He heard my negativity and gave me a scripture about looking at God.  (I believe it is in Jeremiah- I have it somewhere, must look).  Now before this point I was doing well with not worrying about my self esteem but this took it to a whole new level.  I need to look at G-O-D.  He is so much higher that I am that I really don't matter....except I matter to Him.  No more comparing myself to others, time to compare myself to scriptures and if I don't measure up (which I never will); I just need to look at myself as a work in progress; something to improve on.