Frustrating Yet Satisfying Day

It was a frustrating day.  Let's just keep it at that to be safe never know who is reading and I do have this public.  Anyway...I had training again today and before I go into the I am feeling some muscles in my arms WOOHOO!  Okay....back to the training I got to use the punching bag for kicks today (to help me release some of that frustration) kicks are A LOT higher I am thinking about waist height now.  I have to do a semi side kick....kicking with my laces not my toes. They are also a lot more forceful of course that may be because of my day but I'll take it.  Also I am now able to do 15 pounds in curls.  I started at 5 pounds and am not up to 15...we did have to drop weight after 5 on one arm and go to 12 but it is so great.  I remember looking at the 5 pound dumbbells and then looking at the 15 pound dumbbells and looking forward to getting to that level.  I have come to the conclusion I am stronger than what I have EVER been.  I was more in shape in High School but weaker.  I think I could do 10 pounds in dumbbells.  My legs were strong in High School but my arms were weak.  Looking forward for the weight to come off to see some muscles in my arms as my arms have always been big....my guy friends thought it was muscle (it was discouraging cause no it wasn't).  Okay this was a short update but an update nevertheless. :-)

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays etc.

Well it has been almost 20 days since my last post (at least it wasn't months).  I go thru my times of feeling good about changes in lifestyle and then have my downfalls of wanting things to happen faster.  Well....yesterday being Christmas I was actually thoroughly encouraged about the changes happening.  My in-laws were making comments about the changes and to be honest anyone who gives me a compliment I don't totally believe I think it is just that they are being nice.  Chris is becoming more diesel.  Seriously his arms are getting pretty crazy.  He dead lifts over his weight now so of course the changes he is seeing are crazy!  His trainer has made comments that Chris will become stronger than him.  Chris built to be strong.  He is built like a football player (which I love it....had dreams of him playing Polamalu in a movie if that says anything).  I am not obsessed with the Steelers at all (cough, cough).  So I know I went on a tangent of my handsome beast of a husband.  So of course I notice changes in him. Myself eh not as much however like I shared before I can get up off the floor without using an item to help me up.  This is MASSIVE improvement.  I also can bend over and pick things off the ground now without a problem.  LOVING IT!  SO my trainer has asked me if any more of my clothes are fitting (in particular my dresses that I bought for pre-wedding festivities early last year.  I LOVE these dresses.  I bought them from the big girl store....Torrid.  I like these dresses enough to hope to tailor them smaller as I get smaller.  The Problem earlier this year:  They did not fit, I tried spanks I tried anything to try to get these things zipped up.  They zipped half way up my back and stopped.  I REFUSED to get rid of them well I am glad that they are sill around cause they zipped up with ease WITHOUT SPANKS.  I am officially the same size before and during my wedding.   Here's the kicker: I weigh more.  I did report months ago that when starting this new way of life I gained weight...nearly 6 pounds if not maybe even more.  I have now lost a total 13 pounds....3 of these pounds were just this month.  About that last statement my goal for the month was not to gain weight.  With the Holidays I thought I can't completely restrict myself that is why gluten free has not totally happened.  Limiting too much has caused me to fail so trying to learn the self control thing...you know like eat one cookie and savour a flavor instead of eating a whole dozen of cookies.   Also I was able to use the bike at the gym.  Not a big deal?  Actually back a few months ago my leg could not go high of enough to get on the thing.  Changes are happening.  They will happen faster as I have more consistency and can get over getting sick all the time....why I need to try gluten free lifestyle, specifically Paleo/Primal.  I am just excited that I already have a start to getting healthy and it isn't 01/01/2013.  No New Year Resolution for me cause it is happening.

It's Been A LONG Time!!!!

So I have not given up this journey to better health just seemed to give up blogging.  I should be updating it more with my thoughts- whether negative or positive.  So here is an update: Still haven't lost much weight but have to be losing inches as my scrubs are fitting looser.  My co-worker in our satellite office has seen my for the first time in a month and even commented that I am getting smaller.  That is great!  It is discouraging the numbers are not going down but I can't let it get me down.  One co-worker told me I am gaining muscle and I may not shred the weight off for another year.  You know I am actually okay with that.  I am starting to get more at peace with progress.  My husband of course is making a lot more progress he too is at a stand still at actually losing weight but is gaining much muscle he can dead lift more than his weight.  I don't do dead lifts currently but I know it wouldn't be much.  As negative as that sounds I am still making much progress.  Back when I started working out if exercises were done on the floor I had to use something to get back up on my feet I could not get up on my own.  Well I can get back up.  Also if I was laying on my back on a bench I couldn't lift my upper body up to stand back up.  Well I am proud to announce I am getting up off the floor on my own with my own two feet.  The bench is still hard but I can do it about 50% of the time that is better than 0% of the time.  My balance has also gotten incredibly better.  I can stand on one leg at a time and balance fairly well without holding on to anything.  Still need to improve but standing on one leg without holding anything a couple of months ago was impossible.  My kicks have gotten higher.  I could barely kick and now I am starting to be able to kick almost to the height of my waist.  I think I was way more out of shape than what I thought.  It is fairly crazy. 

Eating well still needs to be improved.  I am not a planner but need to be in this area or we have a tendency of eating out. 

My health may be on the mends of getting better still suffering a lot from IBS BUT I am having less pain as I believe I had kidney stones.  I am doing much better in that area.  A constant pain in my back and abdomen was quite annoying.  Actually the first day without pain was a little shocking.  We are going to try to do Paleo (of course we have tried to do Paleo for almost a year now) to help out my IBS of course with all cooked vegetables as I really cannot eat raw veggies. There are so many good recipes for Paleo food that why not try it?  It's basically all natural no gluten and very little if any dairy.  I have been hearing of people giving up gluten, even though they may not have had an intolerance, and it has made them have so much more energy. 

Hopefully I will be updating more sooner than later....In fact once Chris and I plan our meals I will update that with recipes (well after we try them at least).

Thought Lost in Last Post

SO I went on about different things I ate on the cruise yet I didn't gain weight.  Activity level was slightly more chill than normal....yet no weight gain and co-workers said I have lost.  I think this is because I ate more frequently throughout the week.  Definitely does the body good.  I get it I get it I need to eat and not skip meals.....geesh.  Hopefully will become a habit.  Tomorrows a new day.

I GIVE UP....at blogging (not really)

LOL so it is very easy to just give up on something.  Started getting bored with the blogging and as much as I said "I will repeat myself so it will help myself and others...."  Let's be honest I haven't been on here in a month, I think?   No matter now I am back on and hopefully will dedicate myself to blogging.  So we got back from the cruise to the Bahamas 1 and 4/7 of a week from now (to be exact).  I came back and my co-workers said I looked good and that they could tell I lost weight.  Well....poundage is the same but again I am not caring about this at this time as size wise I am getting smaller just not my weight so much (sure a couple of pounds are gone).  So the cruise has lots of yummy foods....we're talking you have an appetizer, main course, and dessert in the dining hall, buffet all day and pizza till 5am.   Now I did not deprive myself on this cruise by any stretch in fact, a couple of the days I couldn't decide between two appetizers so the server brought out both for me, telling me "it is included enjoy!"  Most of the time the appetizer was some sort of fruit soup and something else I would choose (most of the time seafood).  I NEVER opted for the "healthy" dessert as it had Splenda....and yes I am now anti-Splenda (maybe not totally but I am trying to stick to natural- stevia, is natural).  We would eat breakfast (had a small chocolate milkshake one day for breakfast as my drink), lunch, dinner and have a midnight meal of pizza and cookies.  Healthy eating sorta went away but not totally.  Basically ate till I was satisfied, if I disliked something I didn't finish it (who knows where I obtained this "clean your plate" rule this is not how I was raised I think it is from not wanting to waste).  I wasn't as active on the cruise as I wanted. We drove over 10 hours to Port Canaveral and my feet and ankles swelled terribly.  Due to the swelling I also had blisters on my feet as my shoes turned into being too small since my feet were enormous.  I did walk around CocoCay.  This was my favorite island as it is owned by Royal Caribbean and it was just beautiful beach, ocean and wild iguanas.  Saw so much wildlife while going in the ocean; a hermit crab in a full size conch shell so this thing could easily take a junk of your finger, and many different fish.  Nassau was not that great to me.  People are very pushing to buy what they have to offer I do not like being pushed into something so when we went back to the ship for lunch Chris and I stayed on board.  We took the stairs several times unless it was going from deck 2 to deck 11 and depending how my dumb "Fred Flintstone" feet felt.  So here I am back into the groove of things feet finally being normal and no longer have tree stumps for ankles.  We want to start eating more Paleo/Primal style meals as I want to see if gluten is causing health problems.  I have improved greatly in my time for a half mile; starting at 15 minutes a little over a month ago to 9 min 30 sec right before the cruise and now 9 min 24 sec as of today.  Whew improvement is great.  I know my improvement seems "slow" but I have more chance of continuing on the correct path and am completely okay with that.  Looking forward to shedding pounds but I am more excited about being able to do things I am physically incapable of doing because of my fitness level. 

Okay so this was the pic on formal night with our friend "Abu."  Believe it or not I can actually see progress as the "before" pic I posted was with spanx and so was this dress.  The "rolls" are getting smaller. Noticing most difference in the things I wear and things fitting loser or actually fitting.

Thanks to My Supporters

Oh this is a quick blog post just to say "Thanks" to all of those supporting me near and far.  My trainer was going on how great it was on Facebook that I have so many people "Liking" and giving words of encouragement to my battle for better health!

"Thank you exercise for being the only thing stopping me from getting in shape." Jimmy Fallon

I LOVE Jimmy Fallon and his "Thank You Notes" on August 24, 2012 he aired one of the ones that is in the title.  I of course find it hilarious because it seems to be very true in a lot of people's lives.  "I want to get healthier", "I want to lose weight", "I wish I can climb steps without stopping".  I have heard these things time and time again.  Then I hear "I don't have time to exercise", "I don't like exercising"....

This is what I think of.  When I first walked into "Studio 1-on-1 Fitness" this cartoon was outside the door talk about convicting.  I am not trying to say to exercise an hour a day.  Even a start of 15 minutes daily is better than nothing.  To get more time in do it through out the day.  10-15 increments is very easy to add in.  Now I am still not quite at this "daily" thing.  I definitely have my days of being exhausted.  I need this to stop and get something in.  If I have a desire to exercise though I try to do it ASAP before I lose that desire.  Today was a great example.  I had my training at 8:30am, came home took my meds that I have to eat an hour after.  Well I got bored and wanted to walk on the treadmill.  I can actually say I got an hour worth of exercise in today.  That is super exciting.  I got done and was worn out but I feel like it could be the most energy I have ever had.  I am hearing a lot of people that I am inspiring them which is good but I would love to see inspiration turn that into change.  My trainer inspires me, she is in great shape but what do I do with that?  I need get off my butt and exercise!  Now do I want to be my trainer....No.  I am built way differently and I believe when I am completely fit we will have different strong points.  You cannot compare yourself to others.  You are a unique individual.  I am probably going to be built bigger and you know for the first time in my 31 years of life, that is OK.  I do not have the bone structure of being thin.  I am built to be a full figured girl.  Now not what different people call full figured as having extra weight.  I am talking wider shoulders, wider hips.....and I won't go on.  I see some people with extra weight who are told by doctors that they need to lose weight and all I hear is excuses basically blaming the doctor for being called obese when in reality sorry to break it to you...you are.  I am morbidly obese this is a fact I can other mope about the physician world as labeling me as such or I can use this as a reason to get healthy.  I look in the mirror and am not happy with what I see.  I need to look in the mirror and be happy because I am making progress of changing what I see in the mirror.  I have gone through some things that have made me a big girl, a lot of health issues.  Okay so now it is time to fight these health issues and not allow them to control my life.  IBS made me stop exercising. Not anymore.  It is not going to control me.  I am not a slave to IBS, hypothyroidism, acid reflux and former injuries.  These things do not control me, it may mean frequent "breaks" and some exercises I may not be able to do but I will overcome these things.  I was allowing these things to control me and it was making me even more unhealthy with high blood pressure, increased glucose level, and increase in cholesterol.  I am not allowing one condition to spiral down into more expensive health problems.  I can't; for myself, for my husband and for the rest of my family.  Align has helped me out tremendously hoping that this is the answer to me starting to lose weight.  I know crazy thing.  My body has not been getting proper nourishment but just in the week and a half that I have been taking these things my energy level has gone up.  My trainer has told me that she notices my endurance is a lot better.  She has noticed improvement in the past but just this past week even more so....I mean I got on the treadmill at home after working out...that has to count for something.  Another problem I am coming across is I am very stressed.  Stress is an evil thing that can make it hard to lose weight.  I know that after the cruise in October (Omigoodness just a little over a month away) I will be a lot less up tight.  May need to make monthly get away trips or every other month on a weekend.  Hoping I can still drop some pounds before cruising to the Bahamas but you know I am not giving up what I am doing, eventually they will come off when my body decided to behave.  This is just a rant of the things going through my head things I have been battling.  I might blog more but as a warning I may be very repetitive.  Some things I am fighting come up time and time again and are very frustrating, it will be interesting to see how much I have grown from it all.